WARNING: This legacy is very sweary. Under 17's have been warned.
Welcome back to A Snobbish Legacy! Last time, Gilderoy Snobbish established his home and married a reluctant Andrew Song into the family. They had Ralof, a Heavy-Sleeping Genius.
The legacy continues.
Ralof's also a vampire, so he glows pretty creepily.
"Dude, vampire babies is wrong. Haven't you read T--"
If you say that forbidden book, you will be freezing to death.
God, I cannot keep up with all the Freezer bunny gnomes. I think this one is Paris Hilton?
"Like, that's hot."
It's a wall.
"Sexy."
...
Gilderoy is a fairy and won't age for 80 something days, so I have to age him up with the cake at appropriate increments.
"Still a sexy mothafucker."
Though his facial expression doesn't show it (it never does), he got his LTW complete (World Renown Surgeon). I bought the Immortal LTR. I wanted to make him immune to sunlight, but that ceased his aging process. Oops? I'll just age him accordingly to his kids ages.
And it's time for Ralof's birthday!
He's got Gilderoy's green eyes and pink hair. I can't tell if he has Gilderoy's elf ears or not. I think his facial structure is Andrew's.
Kanye West: "Imma let you finish, but me and Kim had the best baby of all--"
Ralof: "FEED ME OR I'LL SAVAGE YOU"
Shit, I forgot the Immortal LTR makes them sparkle like twats.
"Well, I'm already gay."
Also, Michael Donovan's still creeping around our lot. Gilderoy's a three star celebrity, so we're plagued by stupid paparazzi that don't know what coats or heat is for.
Gilderoy got enough LTR points for a motive mobile! Excellent. I put him in the Education career because the Arch Design one got glitched the fuck up.
Ralof: "My two daddies are wrestling again."
And the Woohooer mod is working to traumatize kids...sounds like a legacy.
THE HELL, GILDEROY
Gilderoy: "I need some variety!"
You need my foot up your ass!
(redforeman.gif)
...why are the chess pieces not chess pieces.
"Low textures?"
My textures are all the way up, dork.
Oi vey. Do you want social services to come?
Lorey: "Hey, kid. Want some lemon snow?"
NOOOO
Lorey's getting old, so I let her play around with Noodle for the remainder of her life.
I also bought the pet washy thingy with her LTR points.
"I feel clean. I hate it."
Noodle also oldified.
"I are old dog."
"Tiny human in snow. Tiny human safe?"
Ralof's just curious. GO BACK INSIDE
So.
Gilderoy got to level 9 in Social Networking, so I figured I'd improve their relationship with the transmogrifier app. Little did I know that it would completely removed their marriage status.
D'oh!
"Oh no."
"BKAHOIENOIEIONGOFB FUCK ME"
Yep, baby no. 2 on the way!
NOOOOOOO
Lorey Snobbish lived to 67 dog days. She had no puppies because I'm a retard who didn't pay attention to her life bar.
"I'm not happy about this."
"Whattup, Bones. Say, how much money would it take for you to forget about this and let me live?"
No such luck.
Death: "Death is but the next great adventure."
You're not Dumbledore.
"My fee is 70 dollars, cash."
Gilderoy: "*SOB*"
So this was the house for hours afterwards.
"MY ARM'S IN THE WALL"
I had Andrew take a Vial of Bliss, wondering if it would less the Death moodlet, but...
...nope.
"Take care of Ursa and give her plenty of love!"
"...who the fuck."
Ursa: "*getting suffocated by snow*"
Gilderoy: "Phew, that was close."
Ursa: "Pink fairy man saved me! I love pink fairy man."
Paris Hilton: "Ew, the faggots are boning each other."
No one invited you to watch.
Andrew: "I'M PREGNANT AND DEPRESSED"
So what else is new.
I tried throwing a party to get rid of the Death moodlet, but people pissed off because they have "lives". Pfft.
Ralof: "I'm tired and freezing!"
"*also drowing in snow*"
Uh, guys...
I finally got these two remarried. I'm not making that mistake again.
Gilderoy: "...but I want to divorce you anyway..."
Andrew: "Shut up, she's watching us."
"I'M NOW HAVING A BABY"
*sounds of flesh ripping, pouring blood, crying and whining*
WELL. We have a Hybrid! Say hello to Vincent!
"BUT MY SPHINCTERS STILL HURT"
Gilderoy: "DOESN'T MATTER, HAD SEX"
"Goddamnit."
Life's a bitch.
"But I don't want to play chess!"
Would you quit being a whiny bitch? That's the founder's privilege.
MICHAEL DONOVAN.
GO.
AWAY.
I completely forgot I got a new puppy. You can tell I'm writing this over a few days.
Ursa: "Imma pee on ALL THE THINGS!"
Why do all my gnomes act like they're doing cult rituals?
Hitler: "Ict bein nicht das Satan!"
Voldemort: "I'm the Dark Lord, I don't believe in angels and demons."
Kim Kardashian: "How do you think I got so famous? So many babies I've had to sacrifice for my wealth."
...what the hell is your name?
"Honestly. Are you this forgetful?"
Yes.
"Ralof, you ho-bag."
=__=
I never showed you the upstairs.
This is the upstairs.
VINCENT. There's the name.
"I hope you never become a mother."
Shhh, babies don't talk.
Ursa: "THIS CHESS TABLE KILLED MY FAMILY"
Andrew: "My stubble is ginger."
POP
Paris: "It's, like, my turn to be pervy in here."
"BIONAEOINGPWJEOINF"
Mmmhmm?
GET.
OFF.
OUR.
FUCKING.
LOT.
"My hand smells funny."
JT has had enough of this shit.
Andrew: "I need about five therapists to get me over this."
Maid: "I don't know, I don't care, and I don't give a fuck."
Mussolini: "I will dig to Italy and regain my city!"
You're a bunny gnome.
"...cazzo."
Gilderoy: "This baby has gained my mildest of interests."
Father of the year.
Gilderoy is having a midlife crisis. Other than wanting to divorce Andrew (which I cancel every time), he wanted a new look.
Ahem. If you are not taking care of children, I expect you to be skilling.
"Bite me."
Ralof: "Don't mind me, I'm just a potential heir."
Awh, don't be like that. Toddlers are boring.
Gilderoy: "Is this vest slimming?"
Michael: "Yes, very svelte."
GO AWAAAAAAY
"RAWR I'M AN UNSCARY ZOMBIE"
We now lived in a gated community because I'm so tired of paparazzi flooding our lot.
That's IT. I've HAD IT.
"I don't CARE if this gets me bad press, QUIT SWARMING OUR LOT. THAT'S ILLEGAL."
*SLAP SLAP SLAP*
And then they had fisticuffs. With extra fisting. O.o
I HATE ROOOOOOOOFS SO MUCH
I had to re-do the top floor because the roofs mechanics SUCK.
Gilderoy: "Now we have room for a hot tub!"
Like you deserve a goddamn hot tub.
Honestly, could you wait until your child's birthday party to molest each other?
MCHammer wannabe: "This is my fetish."
Now to grow up Ralof and forget about him nurture his childhood imagination.
He's a Loser, so I gave him a helmet. To protect him from the beat-ups at school? Yeah?
"You have a deranged sense of humor."
For some reason Smelly Swimsuit Lady kept wanting to talk to Ralof.
Perv.
"All my children are grown up. Sure you don't want to have some milk and cookies?
Ralof: "Lady, it's 12am. This is bordering on a SVU episode."
Sigh.
Why the hell did I download the Woohooer mod.
I used to think autonomous Woohoo was cute, but this is ridiculous.
GO HOME.
Lorey's up and haunting.
"Everyone in this house is a chickenhead."
"OH GOD NOT THIS CRAP AGAIN"
Prepare your anus!
And welcome baby Carlton! Yes, that Carlton.
Carlton: "I'm so kawaii! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧"
It's Vincent's birthday!
He's sparkly 'cause he's a fairy/vampire.
Grow, little faepire, grow!
He looks a lot like Andrew. He's got Gilderoy's wings.
And Andrew's bite. Is this is a normal toddler interaction with toys or is it a vampire variant?
Gilderoy was getting stir-crazy, so he went out on the town.
"Nope. Stupid people everywhere."
What did you expect?
I can already tell you're going to be difficult.
I want him to get a scholarship when he becomes YA, so I have him skill in Logic.
"This sucks, I want a slide."
Tough shit.
I really want a plumbot, so I had Andrew begin Bot Building.
"Can you please just let me kill myself?"
NO.
"Greetings, human. I am Ichibod."
"Slightly cool."
"I need pictures of this celebrity to feed my family!"
Why don't you try, hmm, I don't know...an actual job?
Uh.
Ursa?
"What?"
I made Gilderoy go to a community lot. He decided to take Carlton with him.
Then he flirted with some random guy for a MLC wish.
Great parenting.
"I am temporarily satisfied."
You're a pig.
Let's see what deformed puppies I can breed!
Carlton grew up.
Yep.
I had Andrew program Ichibod to be a chef, maid, and a nanny.
"I am sworn to carry to burdens."
Don't make me power you down.
Gilderoy wanted a new do.
*snorts*
"SHIT YOU BE SPARKLY"
What is this? A man bear pig? A mabearig?
"The humans are copulating again. I wonder they do so, they have the same genitals. How do they expect to reproduce?"
Uh, well. When a man and a man love each other very much...
Fact: Dolphins actually enjoy raping other dolphins. Preferably male ones.
FOUR PUPPIES
THIS HOUSE CAN'T HANDLE THE CUTE
Ursa: "Where did mah babies go?!?!"
I had to move them.
"But...but..."
I already have five sims and two dogs. Besides, we kept Crosby.
See? Cute, hopping Crosby.
"Would you move your babies out?"
My babies wouldn't take up RAM.
!!!!!!
(excuse me while I girl all over the place)
"Um. I got a little toasted."
Just because the light makes you feel good does mean you put your dick in it.
Just because the light makes you feel good does mean you put your dick in it.
...where the hell did all this water come from?
"Might I suggest someone who was in the rain came in and dripped onto the floor?"
WAS IT YOU?!?
Let's go to the future! I was curious and wanted to see their descendants.
But not before this bumfuck comes out first.
The stuff from ITF is very cheaty, so we won't be taking a lot of stuff home.
Dis be our descendants home.
Uh.
Really need to balance out the nose issue.
Lot of the descendants are vampires. The fairy gene was wiped out--absolutely no fairy descendants or any hybrids.
Going back home, Ralof grew up. His face looks like a teenage serial killer's.
"They made fun of me, I made them graves."
FINALLY, someone killed the llama!
This is how plumbots repair.
Doesn't repairing involve...you know...touching?
"I am an advanced evolution of technology from the future. Do not doubt me or I will fuck you up."
She's waiting to Greet Sim. I just think she's planning revenge.
"They took my puppies. I will take their safety."
Came back to the house to find these two in a lover's quarrel.
Andrew: "You smell like smoke. Were you at a bar?"
"Why do you care, you hate me."
"Still, you're the second father to these children, you could try to be loyal while they're still kids."
Now I have another kid that looks like a serial killer. He looks like Tom Riddle as a boy. Albeit, the pink wings lessens the effect.
"Pink is love. Love hurts. Hurt is pain. Therefore, I am pain."
You're still sparkly.
Then, he promptly sat in a rocking chair moodily for hours on end.
"Noodle are old as rocks."
He's getting up in his age. Such a stupid dog, but I still hate losing pets in this game.
This chapter's getting long, so I'll bid you adieu. Next time, more growing, some dying, and less whining (we can hope).
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